Off to a decent start in Oct

I am pretty happy with my start to Oct being up around 3.9k, particularly since I've taken basically 4 days off. I'm not sure what my deal has been the last month or so.....I just can't seem to find my grind switch. There have been so many days when I just don't feel like playing, and when that happens I usually just don't play. I hate forcing myself to play if I don't feel like it because I get frustrated easier and tilt faster. However after taking the 6th, 7th, and 10th off I feel I am ready to get back into grind mode again!! Yesterday I actually got in 27 games which is quite a bit for me. Too bad it resulted in my first losing day of the month....I dropped $450. I was down close to $1,400 so it actually kind of felt like a victorious day.

I lost 3 or 4 in a row to some donk on FT and I think for the first time ever declined a rematch against a sharkscope fishbowl. I could just feel my blood boiling and had to quit.....it's amazing how someone so bad can actually start to outplay you once they've won a few in a row. It feels that way anyways. Confidence is so huge in this game. After I took a little break I came back and played well. I don't think a year or two ago I would have ever quit playing such a bad player even though it was obvious I was tilting and playing badly. My ego just would not have let me do it.....as if declining a rematch was admitting I was the inferior player.

I remember about 2 1/2 yrs ago, before I was playing full time, I was just making my way into the 115's on FT. My online bankroll was only about $3,000 at this time so I wasn't quite properly rolled for the 115's but would take random shots. Well this night I got sat my a player in a 115 who was by no means a donk, but a breakeven/slightly winning player. Back then I had a style that was alot more passive.....effective just less aggressive. This player was quite aggressive and loose. They raised 100% of their buttons and cbet 100% of the flops for a 3/4 to full pot bet. At this time in my poker career I probably called out of the BB way too much(probably a bad habit from the lower levels where I was able to outplay people out of position more often). Well the first 3 matches I got owned by constantly calling out of the BB and check/folding the flop. After the 3rd game I started mixing in some 3bets preflop and check/raises on the flop. It was like he could see my cards, every time I c/r a flop with garbage I got shoved on, every time I 3bet pf with a mediocre hand he jammed. On the rare occasions I hit the flop he'd fold to my c/r. I kept accepting rematch after rematch, in each match playing worse then the previous one, not wanting to decline and accept defeat. Well, if I remember right I lost 8 in a row, or 9 of 10 and he took me for over $900. This wouldn't be devastating much at all now, but then that was 1/3 of my roll, and my main game was the $57.50 HU turbo, so losing $900 in the 115 in such a short amount of time(the matches were prob only last 5 min on avg, lol) was crushing. How could I let myself get so out of control? Why did I keep rematching somebody who was outplaying me when I was on tilt on top of it? Why in the fuck did I basically GIVE AWAY 3 or 4 of those games?

I got burned badly that day and I learned alot from it. Not to say I've NEVER let my emotions take over since then, but I never let it get to the point where I'm dropping 8 or 9 buyins to the same person when I'm on foam from the mouth tilt. There have def been some close calls, but I always stop and take a break after losing 4 or 5 in succession. It's kinda ironic how I didn't want to admit to being the inferior player by quitting, when the fact that I kept playing when on my F-game was what made me the inferior player.

Now I hardly ever let my ego get in the way. An ego in poker can be a good thing, but too much of it can put your lights out. Now even if I lose one game to a breakeven or winning player I usually decline because I know that there are better spots and I don't let my ego get in the way. I've had players ask me "are you scared to play me" or some other bullshit. They apparently get off on the notion that "they are not scared to play anybody". Ummmmm......no I am not fucking scared to play you. What on earth would I be scared of??? It's a FUCKING CARD GAME, not a life or death war. Give me a break. I just don't give a shit about dick measuring contests. I give a shit about making $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$. That's all I have to say about that, kinda rambled a bit :)

OMG, OMG OMG.........The Twins/Tigers one game tiebreaker was the most exciting, gut-wrenching, nerve racking game I've ever seen. If you're a baseball fan and missed that game I feel sorry for you, just a wonderful game that the Twins came out on top in!!! The Yankees awaited the Twins and pounded us 3-0 for the sweep. Game 2 was absolutely devastating being that the Twins had a 2 run lead in the 9th only to watch Nathan blow it......sigh. Twins went 0-10 vs Yankees combined reg and post season this year. I guess it's safe to say they own us.

Vikings over Rams 38-10.......5-0 baby!!!!!! Bring on the Ravens!!!!

bartchalker